Wednesday, October 04, 2006

An ASS out of U and ME

The other night my family and I went to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. There was a couple with another group that had me entertained all evening. I'm not really sure that I have adequate words to describe them. The female part of this couple had a mullet, an eye patch and poorly fitted dentures that kinda pointed out of her mouth towards you. The best description I have for the male part of this couple was old and fat David Crosby.

They didn't do anything special or different than the rest of the people that were there. They just sat there. And for some reason I found them horribly amusing. I could picture them sitting outside their trailer in their lawn chairs hollering at the kids to go get them another beer or they wouldn't get to go to Chuck E. Cheese. And when they left I was thinking, 'Yep pack it up quick or you will miss WWE.'
After a while my conscience woke back up and told me that I was wrong to make assumptions about these people. Just because some one looks a certain way doesn't mean I know everything about them. The more I started to think about this I realized I'm a very prejudiced person. I make snap judgements about people all the time.

I started out with this kind of idiotic assumption making rather young. For instance, the first time I had sex. I was madly in love with my boyfriend and I had decided it was time. So one afternoon while my family was away we set up our moment down in the basement. We turned down the lights, played some Howard Hewitt and laid down a sleeping bag on the floor. I had no problem kissing and caressing and getting naked in front of him. But I had never seen a man naked before. So for his portion of getting undressed I lay down on the sleeping bag and covered my head with a pillow. And after he was undressed I was so nervous I couldn't peek out from under the pillow. He parted my legs and his knee bumped into my thigh. Well remember, I had my head under the pillow so I had no idea what part of his anatomy just bumped into my thigh, but you can imagine what I thought. 'Oh my God he's HUGE! I'm about to die.' Boy was I wrong.

I still use this sort of ridiculous half assed logic today.

Here are a few examples:



Whenever I see a guy driving a truck that looks like this I don't think 'Oh this guy likes to go 4 wheeling.' No, all I can think when I see this is 'He is overcompensating.That guy has a little dick.' And I'm sure that there are plenty of well endowed off road enthusiasts but I will still have that thought every time.



Whenever I see some one sagging their pants I don't think 'Look at this gangsta and his fashion sense.' I think 'here is a guy who is too poor to get pants or a belt that are the right size for him.' I know that for some reason this foolish and drafty habit is all the rage in younger style circles but I will never get it.



Whenever I see a guy over 25 driving a convertible I don't think 'Now there goes a finacially secure man who has good taste in cars.' I automatically think 'There goes a midlife crisis.' And really only guys born with silver spoons in their mouth can afford to drive a nice convertible sportscar when they are young. The insurance alone is a killer. But again, my mind is stuck in stereotypes.



A good looking, well dressed man who has good manners? Am I thinking 'What a catch!' Nope. If his socks match the rest of his outfit I am thinking 'He is SO gay.' I know that there are guys out there who have good manners, are very attractive and learned how to dress but I guess I'm just stuck with my preconceptions.

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